No one talks for 18 minutes from a disheveled bedroom, schilling a bike they haven’t ridden, with inserted marketing footage, like BikeRadar. Well done! I just wish Jack had taken the time to close the damn drawer, because frankly it was hard to pay attention to all the ENVE introduced talking points as I pondered why the drawer was open. Is it a cry for help? A metaphor around unfinished business? A larger point about the state of the current world? Or just that Jack has a pink shirt that he really wanted to wear, but the brass at BikeRadar wouldn’t let him wear it on video, and this is his petty response to that? We may never know.

Now lets talk about the bike, or actually bikes, because there are two frames: Endurance and Race. A lot of folks are probably going to focus on the price, and it’s not going to be cheap, but 1) it’s ENVE, what did you expect? 2) compared to bike like the S-Works SL7 Tarmac it’s competitive, especially considering that it’s custom to you. That said, looking at this bike I don’t see anything that special about it beyond the obvious signalling that you get from riding a $7,000-$12,000 frame with custom paint and ENVE decals on the seat mast (ugh). It’s not going to be particularly fast (comparatively), only fits 28mm in race geometry, and if it weren’t for the custom paint doesn’t really have anything that innovative on offer. Sorry ENVE, I’d rather have the Tarmac…

As hard as I tried, I couldn’t make it all the way through the video. So if you do KUDOs, please fill us in on how awesome this will be.